Nothing frustrates my grandmother more than reaching for a memory and its living details and coming up short. There’s nothing, tangible or intangible, that she can do to bring herself closer. Her wheels are spinning, and eventually, feeling defeated, she gives up hope of finding traction. I feel a sense of helplessness too because I […]
Continue ReadingCultural expectations have a funny way of forming without anyone actually giving thought to it. Take getting older. As a society, we have this notion that it is a time of slowing down, withdrawing, and isolating yourself from new experiences, regardless of what your health allows. We’ve treated aging as a time to step aside […]
Continue ReadingThese days, the grocery store shelf is about as close as most of us come to the source of our fruits and veggies. There are some surprising disadvantages to this rather sterile exchange. Exposure to the rich, living dirt in which our produce grows leads to a stronger immune system, thanks to the harmless microbes […]
Continue ReadingI watch as Sandra agitates the salt shaker over her food—once, twice, three times, four times over her chicken alone. Then, after taking a bite, she reaches for the salt again. I can tell that, as an older adult, she has gotten into the habit of seasoning her food more and more. She’s discouraged and […]
Continue ReadingThere is a central paradox of time that has been explored in a million different songs and poems. It’s that hours can seem so long, but the years go by so quickly. On a practical level, it can be expressed as a question: How do we fill these hours while also being fulfilled? That is, […]
Continue ReadingAs caregivers, it’s really easy to get stuck in a tunnel of daily routines with visibility for only what’s right behind or right in front of us. While incredibly rewarding, our job is an overwhelming and busy one—and we’re giving a huge amount of focus and energy to another soul. Rest assured, there are simple […]
Continue ReadingWhat does the concept of “date night” really come down to? It’s about interrupting your usual routines, so you and your partner can be together in a new way, in a new environment, and reconnect with renewed perspective. For a long time, my spouse and I would go out to dinner and a movie, and […]
Continue ReadingMy mom has always been one to look out for others first. She makes sure that the little kids have plenty of things to do at family gatherings. Since I’m a vegetarian, she acts as my advocate in restaurants—without being asked—making sure I’ll have enough options. It’s not in her nature to focus her attention […]
Continue ReadingToward the end of his life, I was talking to my dad about his friend Bob. The two of them had been friends for nearly 70 years and saw each other frequently, but I hadn’t heard about him coming around very much lately. I couldn’t imagine they’d had a falling out, so I asked why […]
Continue ReadingTo be able to see someone’s face from across the world is still truly remarkable, and nowhere is this more true than in a state of mourning. It wasn’t very long ago that the idea of video calls in a time of grief was impossible. I think back to when my dad was in the […]
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