There isn’t a single thing we do that isn’t based at least somewhat on memory. Even things that are instinctual, like eating, are tied up with how we remember; we remember what food we like to eat, how to prepare it, where the forks are, how we were taught how to hold a knife, how […]
Continue ReadingLarry was devastated when he lost his wife, Edna. He’d spent almost every day with her for 67 years, and when she was gone he felt as though he’d lost part of himself. Larry had always been a quiet man—he wasn’t one to share his feelings or speak his mind, but over the years he […]
Continue ReadingBeing a caregiver means balancing a lot of emotions and contradictions. When taking care of an older loved one, especially someone who has significant functional limitations, one of the most pressing issues is a contradiction of time. The contradiction is this: there are never enough hours in your day to take care of everything, and […]
Continue ReadingSometimes simple statements, filled with numbers and statistics and the flat, census-based declarations, contain within them an enormous reservoir of pain and suffering and loneliness. That’s probably why we keep them so dry and clinical: to avoid looking at the hurt. Here are a few: In California, getting older increases the risk of falling below […]
Continue ReadingIf you were to ask most non-Californians where the Inland Empire was, they probably wouldn’t have an answer. It isn’t a place like Los Angeles or Napa or Silicon Valley that has mythical resonance in the ears of the country. Indeed, even most Californians, and maybe even most residents, wouldn’t be able to define exactly […]
Continue ReadingWhen her grandfather gets out of bed and is unable to fall asleep for hours at night, Stella knows that he is struggling with anxiety. Sometimes his heart will race, and he’ll be preoccupied with the noises he hears outside, concerned about whether the doors are locked and the house is secure. It began shortly […]
Continue ReadingIt’s summer in San Francisco. And while it isn’t quite as warm here as it is in other areas, it still means getting outside, taking in the air, getting down to the water, and spending time exploring the neighborhoods and the artistic and cultural energy that makes this city great. For a lot of people, […]
Continue ReadingJust about any time you purchase or make a payment on insurance, you’re spending money you hope to never get back. Auto insurance is only used in case you have an accident, which, by definition, you aren’t trying to do. Same with home insurance. Health care is the only type of insurance you pay for […]
Continue ReadingWhen you’re a caregiver it is easy to overwork yourself. Caregiver stress, fatigue, and overall burnout can be easy to dismiss as less important than undivided attention for your aging or disabled loved one. In other words, caregiving has the potential to be all-consuming. But it shouldn’t be so at the expense of your own […]
Continue ReadingOne of the most inescapable facts of life is the law. This is often a good thing since lawlessness is usually a pretty bad scene. But it means that, if you have a legal issue and aren’t fortunate enough to have the right kind of lawyer on retainer, you need a representative or a counselor […]
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